Being curious is a key ingredient of the "7 Habits of Highly Effective People". Stephen Covey recommends that we seek first to understand others, before we look to have them understand us. This feeds their deep seated hunger to be heard and understood and gives us influence in our workplace.
In their book "Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most", the authors Stone, Patton, Heen and Fisher use curiosity as a major tool for dealing with confrontation. By encouraging us to wonder why the other person said what they did and consider what history and influences generated their perspective, their model puts us in a curious mode which generates greater understanding and less animosity, while still allowing for truths and resolutions to emerge.
Being curious makes many difficult situations manageable. In a large staff meeting, where a new unpalatable direction is being announced, many of us hesitate to state our opinion baldly. And we recognize that there may be information we don't have. Asking an intelligent question can raise new aspects without making the speaker feel threatened.
If you are on the other end and you are the speaker who does get a zinger during a high-stakes presentation, being truly curious can be a life saver. It allows you to wonder where this comes from and what might motivate it. Asking additional questions or phrasing your response in a way that considers this different point of view as an interesting possibility reduces your automatic defensiveness and gives you great credibility as the speaker.
Cultivating curiosity in specific ways can augment our typical or preferred ways of interacting with our work environment. Using the Myers-Briggs Type Inventory styles, we can see our own strengths and weaknesses in relation to curiosity:
Introverts tend to work through problems privately; their curiosity is likely to be more of an intellectual sort where they will work independently to gather the relevant information. Recognizing this and allowing time to gather input from other people will be a useful tool.
In contrast, Extraverts tend to think out loud and thus are curious about and welcome the input of others in thinking through a solution. However, they may spend less time reflecting and thus miss some of the nuances, or be swayed by the opinions in the room rather than assessing the full complement of information.
Sensing types are those who enjoy working with the details. On the one hand, they can get very interested in those details and are curious to gather them all in. On the other hand, they can get overwhelmed if there are too many, and so they may like to limit what they work with thus limiting the scope of their work.
Intuitive types see problems as part of a larger system, and are more likely to want to make sure they have considered all linked aspects of the system. However, by considering only the big picture they may miss some of the details that the Sensing types revel in.
Thinking-oriented people want to get the work done, and are curious about the data needed to do it. They will spend time digging up the information they need to do a good job. However, sometimes they think they have enough data already and want to move forward without regard to others opinions.
Feeling-oriented people seek harmony and will actively incorporate other opinions and be curious about all the team members' input. They may need help moving on and just getting the job done, even if some people are not happy.
Judging types are those that like to investigate options, but once fully explored and a decision made, they really don't like opening it up again. They don't want to ask the question that might mean revisiting work already done and so may not be curious about opinions or facts that could open that door.
Perceiving types are more open-ended people, always curious about new ideas, in a way that is frustrating to J's. The balance is often to keep open to identifying new ideas and options, but quickly classifying them as critical or simply interesting, and then only incorporating those that are fundamental to the project right now.
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